Scarlet Valentine
by MourningBlack
Summary: Ghostpaw can "see", Sinpaw can "feel", Miragepaw can "fade". What's it like when you turn your back on Silverpelt when Starclan themselves punish you, the wrong cats? It's time for the forest to suffer like they did, only much more harder.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue chapter**_

_I always wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. But I can't, everything I did was monitored by my clan mates. It's a drug that doesn't go away forever. _

_They said they forgave me, they said they loved me, they said I was loyal. But why? So they could talk behind my back while I was asleep? If they thought I didn't know, I knew. Everything was all the she-cats fault inside the warriors den._

_Every. Single. Goddamn. Thing. Was her fault. I'm not lying, everything was her fault. Leafpool was her name. The kit of the great Firestar turned out to nothing more but a lying good for nothing bitch that didn't deserve to live. And that kitty-pet leader assigned me to her as an apprentice! If I could get my claws on that "Fire of the clans" his throat would be ripped out in seconds. _

_So many thoughts, so many emotions I figured out why my life was like this. It was all because of them, it was all because of Starclan and their stupid prophecy! We're cats, were nothing more but animals. We shouldn't have prophecy's that depend on us to save the forests and lives, we should just be mindless brutes begging for blood. _

_Looking at that, did Starclan even **have** any power? No, they didn't. If they did, why weren't the Twolegs gone yet? Why was I still suffering? Why could I still **see**? My life is screwed, all because of Starclan playing with us like mice. Nothing ever worked for me, nothing. And it was all their fault! The way they flaunt their prophecy's sickens me. _

_I was the cat that lost everything. I was the cat that's life is messed up. I'm the brother that's siblings were put in a rival clan for purposes only the leaders knew. I am the cat that **will** do anything to make the forest go down and suffer like I did. Starting with Thunderclan and it's cats. Then Starclan._

_Why you ask will I do all this? It's because I'm a reject, because I'm the last regret to my parents. Who? My mother... Hollyleaf and my father... Breezepelt. Halfsiblings that didn't know they were siblings. Family who died loving each other. Me and my siblings were their only regret. And then you know what Starclan did? They punished us. They punished me and my brother and sister for the act my parents had fulfilled. Why did they punish us? It was their fault for keeping the secret for too long, it was their fault that everything turned out this way. It. Was. All. Their. Fault!_

_So why not? I turn my back on Starclan like an insignificant leaf shunned from the tree, I will find the place I belong. And that place is the Place of No Stars.  
_

_The feel of blood raking my claws as I gore on them all will be a feeling no-one will comprehend. After all, I'm special. I mean, what kind of cat can see the souls of the dead anyway?

* * *

_

_I 'm scared here in Windclan. _

_It's just so scary. Glares, whispers, disgust. So many emotions that wisp though everyone's pelt just scares me to a point of suffocation. I wish my mother was back, I wish my sister was here and most of all, I wish my Thunderclan brother was back here. I'm just so scared of everything._

_I was a coward that trained as a medicinecat apprentice. Pathetic right? I know. I can't compare to my brother who is strong as our father was or my sister who was as loyal as my mother. I cannot do anything more but talk to myself for comfort._

_I am such a pathetic worthless cat that deserves to die. I have tried, many, many times and prayed to the stars for guidance but they never answer to my pleas. So, like my brother, why not? Why not travel the path of a dark warrior like Ghostpaw? I try to, but I cannot just turn my back on my loyalty... to somebody up there in Silverpelt. I just cant._

_So brother Ghostpaw dear, I'm sorry that I'm not as brave as you are. I will not believe in either ancestors except myself. I am me and always will be no matter what because I am Sinpaw. A bearer of the sins and regrets our parent were forsaken with. There is a reason we are named what we are, you are Ghostpaw because you are the ghosts of both our parents, I am Sinpaw because I am the sins of our heritage and sister dear... she is Miragepaw for all the emotions and secrets that appear and disappear like mirages._

_So you see everyone, I just hide behind everyone and everything for my own gains. Kestralflight, my mentor, grudgingly mentoring me and I am thankful for that while Nightcloud cares for me like the son that died. I cannot look her in the eye with my sins. I. Am. Worthless._

_So I beg of you Starclan, forgive me but I cannot be faithful anymore, for what can I be with the punishments you bestowed upon me, I can **see** like my brother, I can see the evil and good inside a cat and I must say, evil reeks off of my brother and me. My sister... she doesn't have anything in her, my dear sister... she is dead in the clans eyes.

* * *

_

_I can't comprehend what is happening. Shadowclan is my home, but it still feels like Thunderclan for some reason I am too tired to admit._

_Tawnypelt urges for me to hang on the strips of humanity by bringing me too places. Like the river that freezes in winter. It was such a beautiful sight... until it melted. I shouldn't be expecting much of anything these days. I live like a mirage, appearing and dispersing when I feel like it. Just like a mirage. So now I live in an existence that is equal to a loner, meybe even a rogue. Why would anyone even want me for an apprentice. I am dead in everyone's eyes except for a few._

_I try to be like my brothers. Strong and swift, Thunderclan and Windclan is what I envy the most but I can't. Here in Shadowclan, the cold winds chill my icy heart forever. How long has it been since the feeling of an emotion has struck me? I can't remember. It's all like a blur where everything doesn't matter anymore. I see nithing, I hear nothing and overall I feel nothing. My life is content and small, but if it's like this, I don't have to feel anything anymore. So what is more happier than that?_

_Many things you say? I can't seem to find a reason that makes your simple statement... true. The joys of love? Look where that got me, my siblings and parents. Excitement? Why would I want that? It has no merit._

_As I was saying, I am perfectly happy with my clan and name. Ghostpaw is the brother I idolize but cannot be, Sinpaw is the one I am loyal to, so why do I need to be proud of myself? I am a warrior, apprentice of the leader who views me with pitiful glances. I am an insignificant twig than anyone can break and snap and I won't mind, maybe I can be thankful to them for ending my life. Starclan is where cat's like Tawnypelt go, I won't go there, maybe the sky's of nothing will be my home in the afterlife... or not._

_But now I am tired, so tired. So let me explain to you in the my lifeless voice; I am nothing more but a mirage in actuality. I can fade in and out of reality to a point where Blackstar became my mentor. I must be happy and proud right? But I can't feel nothing anymore. After all, I am dead in everyone's eyes. And I am content... so then,why do I feel so unhappy?

* * *

_

**Finally finished! Also, should I do a allegiance?**

**Also, thank you to Blazing Fox for letting me do this story. I suggest you check her story's, especially Smothering Smoke. Peace out all! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**The ending parts of NEXT chappie will be in another cat's P. O. V. His name's Hopepaw~ Yes, there is romance (Angst = Romance), but very unexpected and tons of unrequited love like... in chapter 2~ :P (That was just a little thing I did as a warning.. or something...)  
**

**Also, if this isn't updated that means I'm either in writer block, laziness or working on other fics~ Well, hope you enjoy!**

**Here's a re-cap, Ghostpaw = Thunderclan, Miragepaw = Shadowclan, Sinpaw = Windclan~!  
**

* * *

_"Chin up and strike!" batting his paws in thin air_, _Lionblaze chuckled heartily when his nephew tumbled head-first onto the ground._

_Still laughing, he composed his posture and helped little Greenkit up. The brown tabby was an exact replica of their uncle; Brambleclaw. Jayfeather swept his tail over the youngest kit, a pure white she-cat with brilliant green eyes._

_The middle kit, snuggled closer to his mother. Tortoiseshell fur mixed with black as Hollyleaf licked the kit's head softly. The scent outside brought in a fresh smell of dew, grass and various prey waking up to the dawn of the day._

_"Hollyleaf, you never told us the father of the kits..." Jayfeather started softly. Eyes filled with worry about the unknown tom. Thunderclan would be ready to accept him... probably. No matter, he would fight tooth and claw for his sisters mate whether it was the last thing he did in this world or not._

_Brushing his golden tail over the small tom's flank, Lionblaze nodded his head in agreement._

_"I won't tell you, not now, not whit this much trouble being cause with our parents," refusing to look them in the eye, Hollyleaf stared at her youngest daughter by the undersized grey tabby. Eyes accurately watching the small white she-kit mew hungrily when a long cold breeze swept through the den. Thunderclan was a long way from here, as well as it's fresh-kill._

_"Give us a hint"_

_"He was in the Tribe of Rushing Water once..."_

Growling angrily, Ghostpaw slammed himself across his uncle. Lionblaze didn't even flinch, only stared at him emptily, claws not even unsheathing.

What was this? Was he looking down on him? Damn it!

The black apprentice ran again, claws out and sharp, ready to slice at the deputy. A flash of quick movement left Ghostpaw trapped beneath the golden tom. "I've had enough... Ghostpaw..." he choked out. Running back to Thunderclan as though dogs were chasing at his heels. The atmosphere became calmer.

Black fur bristling slightly, he slammed against his mentor; Leafpool. Not bothering to even apologize as he walked to the Shadowclan border.

"I hate this damn clan," murmuring angrily, he dug his claws into the soft mud with every step he took.

Green and amber eyes blazed alive with flames of rage as he pictured every cat he ever met as the mud. Smirking slightly as the image of a distraught Leafpool was clawed furiously by his paw. Mud was flung everywhere, splashing his pelt.

Growling angrily, he breathed in deeply. Eyes still blazing, thoughts that didn't belong to him swarmed into his mind. Shaking his head lightly, the whispers seemed to get louder.

"Stop that!" flinching slightly, Ghostpaw ran blindly forward. Twigs and thin branches whacking him across the face. The whispers stopped suddenly, but the black tom dreaded the place where he stopped at.

The Thunderpath

The Thunderpath

_The Thunderpath_

A place where souls died crushed under burning rubber and monsters that didn't stop with eyes that shone like tiny suns. This wasn't what scared him however, it was the dead. The dead who he "saw", the dead who terrorized him in dreams, the dead who screamed for mercy. And being here was like being in a graveyard. And all this was an annoyance to him, as though Starclan themselves wasn't a problem enough.

The whispers came back, although they spoke in a more harsh tone.

_"Don't leave me here!"_

_"I was only a apprentice!"_

_"The prey... the prey... it ran here. It was all the prey's fault!"_

Maybe it was by experience, but he wasn't affected. The distinct memory of him waking up screaming, moss flung across the room as other cats struggled to wake him up. Everything involving the dead was an annoyance, even if it was a family member, it was annoying.

The starry figure of an undersized brown tabby she-cat stared at him. Eyes moving but no words escaped her mouth, not like Ghostpaw cared. Even if they begged to help him, he wouldn't. Why should he? They were all dead anyway.

The feel of claws prickling his pelt was a bore, sweeping his tail across his flank, the feeling disappeared that easily. Not even bothering to check the road, he walkd slowly forward. The sheer force of all the dead souls wighed him down slightly, but no way in hell was he going to die crushed under a monster.

Running now, he reached the end of the path. The ground rumbled slightly, an incoming monster possibly.

Leaving the scene, he narrowed his eyes when the familiar scent of Shadowclan scent drifted into his nose. Nostrils flaring, he walked slowly forward. The repulsive smell of rival clans made him flinch slightly.

It was strong and close... _too _close.

Leaning down to his belly, he crawled. The mud splattered into his black pelt gave the perfect disguise. The souls were still holding him down. _Pesky thrash, _he thought irritably.

"Brother?"

Whipping back, heart beating drastically, the familiar figure of an underfed silver tabby she-cat stared at him with lifeless amber eyes. Perched on a log, she tilted her head cutely, ribs poking through her skin.

Shaking his head slightly at his sisters condition, he crawled towards her, sighing softly in relief. "Miragepaw, why do you look so thin?" his usual snarl was masked by curiosity and worry.

She didn't answer back, only stared. "Why do you treat me different?"

Not surprised by the sudden question, he answered back calmly. "Because you're my sister."

"So?" stretching her body in an arc, she gazed into his eye, ghostly and pelt tat looked transparent. The name 'mirage' suited her perfectly, as well as her "gift". Blackstar had deemed it fit for Miragepaw to be put in Shadowclan.

A civil war had nearly been started, and Firestar being the stupid cat he was, let them take his sister. Basically, he would join Thunderclan if it not for the deal he held with Tigerstar, oh no, if he left there would be no chance for inside work.

"Brother?"

Damn that Firestar! Thinking he could govern his sister and brother to other clans. Once Starclan was over, he'd personally rake his claws down the annoying tom's throat and see him writhe in the blood of his daughters. Yes, that would be good.

"Brother?"

Claws digging into the soft marshy ground, he smirked. The imagination of total apocalypse replayed in his head over and over again.

"Brother?"

"What?" he snarled. Instantly feeling guilty at snapping to his sister. He was utterly surprised to see that she had disappeared, "Miragepaw?"

No reply.

"Sister dear?"

A few moments turned to minutes as Ghostpaw raked his claws on a pine tree. Annoyed, he ran back to camp, another punishment from Leafpool would be waiting for him. But not like he cared, there really was nothing she (or anyone) could do about his... unique personality.

* * *

_He left_, she mused slightly.

The silver she-cat watched her brother irritably run back to his camp. Trespassing on another cats territory was wrong, but brother was there and how could she just leave him without saying hi?

I feel it. I can't believe I feel it. Now of all times, the anger a normal living being would have is not in me. I can't feel a thing now. I can see, hear and feel... but it feels like nothing. I always flinch whenever something bad or surprising happens but I only do that because Blackstar told me to.

He is my mentor and I must obey him because that's what good cats do.

{But do you think it's good?}

Inner subconscious's talked again, not even bothering to reply in her mind, she spoke in a rasped strangle of a voice, "Whatever mentor says is good. He is leader..."

{But I'm asking you an important question. Is everything in your life right?}

"I don't care anymore, I'm dead." My body felt warm again, the feeling of loss in me didn't change though, I'm really wondering why people still care.

"I want to visit Sinpaw..." speaking to no one in particular, she walked slowly to the Windclan border, inner voice frivolously disagreed. (Didn't you say trespassing was wrong?}

Eyes widening slightly, amber eyes blanked out slightly in confusion. "Where am I going again?"

{Back to Shadowclan!}

"Really? I was sure..." {Shadowclan!, Shadowclan!, Shadowclan!} inner voice chanted.

{Besides, you have epilepsy, best if you didn't walk around Miragepaw!}

"But I don't like having epilepsy..." voice droning out, the sudden illness of "epilepsy" was uncommon around cats and would be a one-way ticket to being a specially trained apprentice. But it wasn't that that guaranteed her as Blackstar's apprentice-

Her body faded slightly, mind lost in thoughts that didn't belong to her swarmed and blocked any logical thinking from inner voice.

- it was her ability to "fade" out of reality to the world of dreams and spirits. A "gift" that could leave her stuck in insanity, but it didn't, it only made her lose half her mind.

The feel of her body fading in and out of reality as the trees and forest turned black splotched with scarlet red. A divine sight, if it weren't for all the thoughts shrieking in her head. The feel of guilt and failure plagued her muscles to a point where crawling onto the floor was like a comfort. No one was here for her, and no one would ever come for her in this place of the unknown

"I'm scared," she dully whispered.

Paws shielding her eyes from the horror, invisible wisps of claws lightly scraped her flank in a manner that made her more scared. Feeling's of happiness and sadness, guilt and pleasure, hunger and content were all conflicting inside her.

The psychology of everything was breaking her apart, piece by piece. It felt like a rock constantly banging on her head, it never stopped, the "gift" Starclan had sent her was a curse. Years of begging left her a mindless wreck.

Everything she was as a kit was taken away by Starclan. The anger she would have never felt on _earth_ was violently pulsing through her veins now. The feel of her claws coming out and the images' was a sight full of horrors.

"Wake up!"

A paw smashed onto her skull. The feel of the color red swarmed her eyes for a second. There he was, her savior; Blackstar.

"You faded didn't you?"

Littlecloud was behind him, green eyes glazed in curiosity, like she couldn't believe what was happening right now. The small tabby was flanked by her son Flametail.

"Where am I?" the question sounded like a rasped cough.

"Back in Shadowclan..." the leader answered dully.

Littlecloud nodded at her while Flametail urged the elder slowly out. The time he served the clan was over, the undersized tom needed his rest.

"She's not her!"

A sudden yowl penetrated outside. Tawnypelt was furiously lashing at her son, green eyes wide and furiously staring at Miragepaw.

"She's not her! She's not her! She's not her!," chanting furiously, various clan-mates held her down. Blackstar ran in, a furious expression painted his face, amber eyes blazing. "Who's not who?"

"She is, she is!" signaling with her tail, the dark tortoiseshell pointed to Miragepaw.

Flametail was calm, his siblings were in a patrol, but he could handle this. "Mother, I think it's time for you to rest" a bundle of poppyseed were stuck to his tail as his father soothingly licked his mate's head.

This didn't calm her, instead, it made her shout louder. "She's not Hollyleaf's daughter! She's not Whitekit! She's not Whitekit! She's not Whitekit!"

* * *

**Yes, I wasn't quite proud with this chapter, but hey, I tried at least! :D**

**Also, don''t worry, this won't be some cliche thing where Hollyleaf isn't the mother, oh no, Holly is the mother of the three outcasts, but it's very complicated to explain how Whitekit is her daughter as well. Cough**Cough~ :)  
**


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